A Conversation on the Balancing Act
The balancing act seems to be what takes place in the lives of many women that are ambitious and professional woman with family, career, relationships and personal wellbeing on the mind. It can seem hard to juggle the different priorities in life, and feel like you’ve done enough in all areas.
Several weeks ago, there was a panel discussion called The Balancing Act, where myself and several other wonderful women had the opportunity of sharing what the balancing act is like for each of us. Here are the questions presented and what I shared:
Erika Glover (moderator): Briefly introduce yourself and tell us what all are you balancing right now?
Virginia: My name is Virginia Jimenez. I’m a transformational love coach, momma to two growing boys, Lagree Fitness Instructor, facilitator of a meetup called healing hearts in Miami, entrepreneur.
Erika: Most of us have a to do list and it bugs us if we don’t check off those items and get them done, how do you maximize your time?
Virginia: The goal is not to get it all done at once. The goal is to understand what is important, what’s urgent, and see if I should do it now, later, or should I ask for help. The goal is to see if this is the season for it, is this the time to address this item on the list, or if it should be put on a wish list.
Erika: How does communication play a role in balancing your life?
Virginia: In 2010 I became a single mom. My boys were 5 and 3 years old at the time. Their father has been an active presence in their life. I had a goal that despite what occurred in our relationship, I was going to maintain focused on what was important for me as a mother: that my kids experience the love that myself and their dad feel for them. Just because we weren’t together didn’t mean that they’d have to hear us bad mouth one another, or feel the brunt of animosity. It took a level of discipline to the vision and forgiveness of past actions. Coparenting requires communication to the extent of expressing our desires with the kids, agreeing to specific plans in advance, communicating what’s going on in their worlds. At the core of it, communication was key, and communication was not just what was said, but also what was not said. It took a level of having the presence needed to be the person I needed to be so that the outcome would come to fruition.
Erika: Tell us about a time where you’ve said YES to a request that really effected your schedule in a not so good way, but you really wanted to say NO. (Especially with a Boss)
Knowing what you know now, what would you have said and done differently in that situation?
Virginia: I can’t recall a specific time, but I do recall the feeling of overwhelm with an old employer that asked for me to take on another tasks while I was still managing a project that was extra work on top of my core responsibility. I remember making an attempt and then realized this is not going to end well if I keep this 3rd task; so I set a meeting with my manager and asked what caliber of turnout was she expecting for this 3rd task, and how important was it for her and the groups goal? In conversation, I then expressed my concerns and why I wanted to know the importance of it. The 3rd task was not as urgent or important as the other tasks I was managing and they gave it to someone else in the team that had the bandwidth for it. I was happy with this because my professional mission was more aligned with the experience of my 2nd task/project I was managing in which I was responsible for transitioning work from one team to another. That task was to provide on-going training and support, and as a coach now, that made more sense for me professional to keep that task.
Erika: Everything we do affects our mind, body, and spirit. Virginia, what tools and exercises would you recommend for overcoming anxiety, guilt, and not losing your sense of self in the process? (deep breathing, mindfulness, bible verses, lagree fitness - what in the world is that?, etc.)
Virginia: As a single mom and someone that works in service and support of others, I found that it was essential to be sure to create time in the day for me, and a morning routine has helped me tremendously. You may find me meditating, praying, writing in my journal, going out for a walk, climbing stares, doing in-home exercise routines. Regardless of what I choose to do, journal entry is almost always done first. Usually it begins with Thank you God. There were times it would start with “I am…” and other times I’d express gratitude and frustrations. I’ve used it to sort out confusions on what to do first by asking myself what’s important today or this week? I encourage everyone to ask themselves, what small action you take in this week, this month, in the year, has helped you connect with a feeling of lightness, has supported your tormented mind? is it exercise? is it a journal entry? is it a brisk walk?
For guilt I think it’s important to understand what you’re guilty feeling is about. Is it something within your control? What was within your control about the situation? Is there a need to take responsibility and communicate it? What can you be grateful for about the situation? What’s come from it in a positive way that wouldn’t have been available before? Forgive yourself. You are still a whole being and not broken. You are human.
Erika: Incorporating fun time into your life is important. What do you do for fun and how do you find out about fun things to do?
Virginia: I enjoy dancing and music!! Love the beach for sunrises. I love to listen to spoken word and sometimes write it. I have fun teaching my lagree classes. It’s a pleasure to connect with sweating, amazing people are pushing there pain threshold. I enjoy being in great company, and I also enjoy being in my own company especially when it’s outdoors in nature.
Erika: What technology like apps or software have you used that you’ve found to be very useful in helping you to better manage your life?
Virginia: My Google Drive app makes my life easier. Having a shared calendar with the father of my kids to be on the same page on events and others things related to the kids. My Spotify app is also important to me. Music can be a best friend! I also use the Daily Word app for spiritual readings.
Erika: How do you think you can be better at balancing your life? Where do you see yourself falling short at sometimes?
Virginia: I see myself falling short with meal prepping. Also, delegating certain tasks that would help my kids. I have a goal to minimize items in the house.
Erika: What is the most valuable lesson you’ve learned or a great piece of advice that someone told you about maintaining your life?
Virginia: You behaviors don’t define who you are at the core. You are a child of God.
Don’t wait to leave a legacy. Begin to live your legacy now. What purpose will you create in your life? What’s valuable to you in the areas of family, finance? Live with no regrets.
And that was my take for you guys. I want to mention a special thanks for all those that inspired this post, and are mentioned here. The Balancing Act panel discussion which took place at Cox Media Group between myself (Virginia Jimenez), Julissa Bonfante of Univision, and Shelby Rushin of Hot105 and the moderator of the discussion was Erika Glover of NBC6. Thanks to #ColorComm Miami for putting together a wonderful event, and for the host Cox Media Group for opening their doors for this discussion.
Peace and light,