Two Natural Lessons That Can Improve Your Relationships

I was shopping at Trader Joes a couple of days before St. Patricks Day this year (2016).  I found this Lucky Shamrock plant at their entrance I decided I wanted to take her home.  I agreed to myself that I'd take care of the plant because I really wanted to have a growing lucky charm at home.  Only a week or less of having the plant at home and I found that her pot had been knocked over. Her soil was scattered on the floor. Half of her had withered and dried up. One flower remained. She was a sad looking plant. I felt horrible. I neglected her. You may be thinking... It's just a plant. The thing is she wasn't a plant that was just gifted to me. I made a decision to have her be part of my home. When you bring a plant home the terms of agreement are water and nurture it. I went out of my way, purchased her from Trader Joes, and yet I neglected to watch and nurture her. 

Despite disappointing myself for not living up to the agreement, I decided I'd replant her, water her and even asked one of my sons if he'd agree to help take care of her. I was going to try to make this plant-life work. 

Here we are a month and a half later. She's grown new leaves and more flowers. I've cleaned out all the dead leaves that were left behind from before. I recognized that she communicates her needs and desires. She closes her leaves when she's getting too much light. She also rests in the evening by closing her leaves and flowers. When she feels good with the lighting and water she is open and looking alive. 

And that's exactly it. She's not just a plant. She's alive and communicating her needs for light, water and protection. 

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Relationships with people can sometimes resemble what took place with this Lucky plant. We want friendships and relationships. We engage in starting them, and once we have it we sometimes neglect to find out what the other person needs, nurture and take care of it. We may miss out on asking questions like "How do they like to be comforted and communicated with?" Or "How often should we communicate?" We may make assumptions instead.

Nature obviously can teach us a thing about communication. It has no need to hold back. Its survival depends on it. Why shouldn't we act in a similar way? Doesn't part of our survival depend on the quality of our relationships? 

Here are two lessons I learned that can be applied in your relationships:

1- COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY- The best way to receive the love and care you want is to express the love and care you want. Both parties must agree or find a compromise to make it work. 

2- INCREASE OBSERVATION-When we commit to a deep friendship or relationship it's important to take note of the communication that's taking place without any words at all. Essentially, the non-verbal cues. Be sure to not just make decisions or assumptions from one observed cue. Notice patterns of behavior and talk about what you see to confirm your judgement. 

Becoming a better observer and communicator is essential for a healthy relationship.

“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” - Peter Drucker
 

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About me:  I am a  transformational and relationship coach as well as a motivational speaker helping organizations and individuals increase their wealth for success in business, love and life.  For more on what I'm up to check out my website at www.VirginiaInspires.com